A prisoner of another world, crash lands on earth taking the form of a missing boy inheriting the struggles that he had, including his fitness-fanatic parents.
That sounds very interesting, great concept! My only criticisms are wording and comma placement. Perhaps "A prisoner from another world crash lands on Earth, taking the form of a missing boy and inheriting his life's struggles, including parents that push him into professional weight training."
I like this concept alot it leaves alot of questions that im sure will be answered in the story. I like the idea alot it seems super sci-fi which makes your possiblitys with this story endless.
Awesome idea! Very imaginative and I can't wait to see how it turns out. I think "missing boy. However, he inherits..." would sound a bit better. I think it would flow a bit better. It feels like it runs on a bit. Again though, the idea is amazing!
That sounds very interesting, great concept! My only criticisms are wording and comma placement. Perhaps "A prisoner from another world crash lands on Earth, taking the form of a missing boy and inheriting his life's struggles, including parents that push him into professional weight training."
ReplyDeleteit sounds really cool. sounds like something some kids can relate to, trying to keep up with parents expectations.
ReplyDeleteI like this concept alot it leaves alot of questions that im sure will be answered in the story. I like the idea alot it seems super sci-fi which makes your possiblitys with this story endless.
ReplyDeleteAwesome idea! Very imaginative and I can't wait to see how it turns out. I think "missing boy. However, he inherits..." would sound a bit better. I think it would flow a bit better. It feels like it runs on a bit. Again though, the idea is amazing!
ReplyDelete